literature

Shakedown

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FindingItHarder's avatar
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Literature Text

Pages and pages of hollywood transcripts
Could not amount to this
I've got a story to spit

It started off at a bar at 8
Mics set up for young studs
I glance their way as I drink away my pay cut

But I was surprised just how quick fans idolized
Each act
They came out with a passion

But these fads were just dancing on a fire
The crowd desired
The final headliner

So, in no time
I grabbed the mic
Put down a slick rhyme
We were both surprised
So they asked if I could replicate
And come again
Affirmative
Salutations til we meet again

So I wrote to it
Got to it again
Got rid of this nuisance that I was once cuing
To be doing

A new wave and phase
A new game to practice in the shade


And soon enough I started making sense
And cents became fen the fen became dense

So I moved right outta China
Past North Carolina
And back to L.A. where the smoke stacks lay (same stacks lay)

Weeks pass and stumble pon the daze
You know the story,
The name, the game, the face

One day I finished my surgery
Turn to my right in my sights see burgundy
Flames, flies
In 5 men's eyes
I
Recognized but I don't know why

As they came closer I verified their jersey
They were the fiends that expired at 30 days ago

Hey wait now hold the phone
They never showed why is it me that they want though
Perhaps it be there's no room for us dos though
Whatever be here's the fact that I know:

With their status and their presence came a message
I had to get through the back exit
Or lose my head like Texas

So
Don't even ask
I went through the back
Try to keep out of contact
Keep myself
Man just relax

But as I rounded the corner
There they were
Made our space smaller
And they had their word

Of course they tried to coerce me
Of course they maintained no mercy
Of course they talked right down to me
Talked down to me like blasphemy
They want a part of me
They want all of me
I had to find a strategy
So I knocked one in the head
Got wind in my eye
And I was gone

It was the 22nd 82nd damn street on 4th of July
I didn't feel
My position were compromised

Tonight's the night we reach that 7th heaven
With my life yeah we gotta be livin
My car could do better but the mood is right
These 4 wheels will get me going where I'm going tonight
If we leave it's in a blaze of glory
If you don't know then here's the story:

Imagine poppin in the night
After 9
It's outtasite
It should be my right
To exercise
However I like

Loading up in the back of my lemon
Just what I said behind the 7-11
Reaching for home
Get toned
Get in the zone
Grab my cell phone and I need to go

When I came home knew something
Something was wrong (Something was off?)
Back door open that I knew I had locked

I saw them in the kitchen planning
The 5 men left me back in panic (sent me back?)
They didn't see me so I attempted to exit
But hit a vase by accident and gained their attention

Coming round from all sides | They blocked the exits
But the upstairs was open
My cell phone my last hope

Moving fast like a Cadillac
I threw pictures down the steps to slow their attack

I locked the door with no sound of silence
Where the hell was my phone I can't find it
Not by my bed or wallet
Or any my pockets
No object or an option, stop

I think I got it

I ran to the drawer and I threw the drawer open
I grabbed the phone
And they tore the door open

They got me to my hands and knees
3 digits was all I needed
But their arms they had me

And with a foot against my back
A knock upon my head
And I was gone

Oh my head
Is this…
(Heaven?)
Oh no, it can’t be
But judging by the signs it seems soon it was meant to be
Putting two and two together I remembered my oppressors
Found I was in the trunk of some ride, going 80

With my hands behind my back
Tied to give me some slack
Mouth taped as well
So I couldn't object

In this
Tight space I shuffled around
To get the best position
To free me from this prison

And I kicked
Some box
In the back
With my shoe
And when the contents fell out
I instantly knew

That it's
My ride they’re driving
Fireworks I’ve been hiding
Piling
That I better stop eyeing

So
In no time made way to get apart
These sham ties it seems they never were taut
And regained
My freedom of speech
But I better not preach
They'd pull over quite swiftly

And at this speed
There's no deed, means
That could save my bo-dy
Just wait it out, let’s see, let’s play it out

By the time we reached the city they stopped cruising at mach 10
I jammed the lock open like my father did often

I stopped then
Thought then
I concocted
An option
And all but forgot them

I rolled out
Got spit out
But owed
My life
To a red light
That stopped the car behind in my sights
Now what's a man to do when he's done for the night
No payment, no tip, and not a dime for his plight

I didn't leave them some receipt I just left them a flare
Behind my locked doors we'll see how they fare
Another set of lyrics I wrote! Let me know what you liked in particular and what you thought could be improved!
© 2017 - 2024 FindingItHarder
Comments8
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Berried-Lark's avatar
The imagery in the second half, once the action starts, is phenomenal. Him in the trunk with fireworks goin off: that's good storytelling and I didn't expect it.

I didn't expect it because, unfortunately, the first half is weaker. While I wad reading I felt like the quality was dipping but by the end it turned out that the stanzas from 1-20 were the weakest link.

This is how you can make it better for me. You need the setup to the second half so the length is good as it is. However, I wasn't getting enough imagery or setup in general, so, you know, do that. Then, in the second half, I think you can ditch some extraneous stanzas as to make it a lot more concise.

Otherwise, what you got in the second half is golden my dude, you were right. I like "Elizabethan Queen" more though so think about what you might have done in that one that you could do here.